It's 3 am again, and I’m wide awake … the cycle of grief after a major life transition
By Patzia Gonzalez-Baz,
Gestalt Therapist, D-CEP, EFT-Adv
"Show me where it hurts," God said,
and every cell in my body burst into tears
before His tender eyes.
~Rabia
It’s bad enough that life is turned upside down after a separation. Breathing hurts; you’re on an emotional roller coaster, your whole life is turned upside down, and on top of that you can’t sleep? Do you find yourself waking up at 3 am every morning and falling asleep again around 5 am? Well meaning people tell you that Time heals all wounds, but when you haven’t even had time yet, the well meaning phrase sends you into a worse depression.
What do you do during this sleepless time? It is helpful to begin by understanding that your body is reacting normally to an abnormal –and highly stressful—event. (Even if you initiated the separation). All of the systems of the body go into fight-flight-freeze mode, and your brain releases a cascade of chemicals to help you go through this transition time.
Here are some ideas to help you in those wee hours of the morning:
1.- Whatever you do, make sure you don’t call your ex! Your mind and your emotions are probably going over all that has happened, all that went wrong, and it can be a time of torturing yourself.
2. Use all of your senses to help you. Play soothing music, light a candle, use some soothing flower essences.
3. Now’s the time for all those relaxation techniques you have probably been learning. Breathe deeply, sending oxygen all the way to the bottom of the lungs. That brings more oxygen up to the brain, which activates the Relaxation response. It’s easy to hold your breath without noticing it as a way of holding on to safety. So breathe all the air out in a long breath and wait for a moment before inhaling again. Try to slowly deepen your breathing. Maybe you won’t fall asleep, but you’ll feel more relaxed.
4. Avoid alcohol or illegal drugs. While they may initially put you to sleep, they will disturb the processing that the brain can do at night.
5. Keep away from Romantic Movies on TV, and from unhappy couples. Distract yourself with more hopeful things, something that helps you feel empowered.
6. Count your blessings, even though it may be hard at first. Keep a Gratitude Journal. You might also try praying quietly in bed, and asking for help from Spirit.
7. Learn some simple Energy Psychology techniques to help the body, the emotions and the mind calm down. Seek the help of a therapist or Energy Psychology practitioner.
Energy Psychology is especially useful to get relief and resolution - often permanent and complete - for fears, phobias, anxieties, traumatic memories, guilt, grief, sadness and depression. Further, Energy Psychology often provides relief for a very wide range of physical symptoms that come from our emotional state.
You may find some help in the following pages:
EFT Basics, Using TAT
Click here to download our FREE 23 page booklet: Welcome to Energy Psychology!
Patzia has helped hundreds of people experience the power of both EFT and TAT yet these methods never cease to fill her with wonder and awe! It is great to rely on an experienced practitioner, but if you want to take the time to learn, both EFT and TAT are easy to learn and can be self-applied.
Call (905) 235 0547 or send an email to patzia@gmail.com to make an appointment or learn more about how we can help you.
Healing Hearts Centre
Newmarket, On L3Y 5W7
Phone: (905) 235 0547
Email: patzia@gmail.com
Expect results!
DISCLAIMER: While EFT and TAT have produced remarkable clinical results, they are still considered to be in the experimental stage, and thus you must take complete responsibility for your use of it. Further, Patzia González-Baz is a trained Psychotherapist in
